You are not your thoughts and feelings
Wait, what?
These words and the picture above sums up the reaction I had when a book called ‘The Wisdom of the Enneagram’ told me this in May 2021.
It came at a good time, because I was not enjoying the thoughts and feelings I was having anyway! The culmination of past mistakes and a blindness on my part had caught up with me that spring; I was utterly broke, having panic attacks, questioning everything, and I felt like I was going rather mad.
It was a time of profound change, and this insight was the tipping point that led to my awakening to life and some of my most blissful days. This piece breaks down this insight and gives an exercise to compliment the theory so you can see for yourself.
How thoughts and feelings come to be
Thoughts are in the mind, feelings are in the body. The two interact; thoughts trigger feelings, and feelings trigger thoughts.
Memory intermediates the two; memories are experiences that we have via the senses and language, that also coincide with emotional impressions. So memories are imprints of experiences + emotions. Not only do we experience them in our mental and physical awareness, there are biochemical processes coinciding with them too.
Memories consciously and subconsciously teach us emotionally charged beliefs. These beliefs are expressed via language, feelings, and imagery. Aside from instincts and genetically transferred knowledge and inclinations, our memory is what shapes who we believe we are; our sense of self.
If you think about it, how do you know where a thought comes from? You can say a feeling, whether its spontaneous or from an immediate impression, but that just pushes the ‘why’ question down a layer. We were not born with language, and so we see that even the tools we use to make these self-assessments are based on memory. Like a computer that can only perform its operations with a dataset to work upon.
That is the mind, but you are more than your mind. We know this because we can observe it. If this were not true, religions like Buddhism would be known as the biggest and longest hoax of all time! But even science backs Buddhist ideas in many ways; its considered by many to be the most science-friendly religion, both in its approach and in the effects that its practices have on people’s brains and minds.
We are not born with a sense of defection to us, we acquire it. We can observe our mind without getting attached, and in doing so, trace the thread of how we came think and feel a certain way.
Practical Exercise for Belief Tracing
In a time and place that’s good and relaxed for you, try this. Beforehand, have an issue or difficult belief in mind.
- Put on some calming music (Youtube’s great for this) and sit or lie down in a comfortable position.
- Start breathing deeply and slowly, in and out, until you feel yourself getting calmer. A great sign is that you’re breathing via your belly.
- Bring up the belief and simply notice the feelings that come up; when you’re ready, ask yourself: ‘where does this feeling come from?’. Express you’re open to finding out, and give space for answers to come up.
- You’ll likely get some feedback, perhaps in words, images, or a subtler feeling of knowing for example. Explore the feedback, it will likely take you or already have taken you to a past experience.
- Continue calmly and openly engaging with the feedback in the ways you know how, and arrive at a new insight and perspective.
I hope the exercise was of use! Discovering that our thoughts and beliefs have a conditioned nature is a great insight, and unlocks a genuine key to choosing more empowering thoughts and beliefs instead. In ‘doing the work’, our energy-body becomes lighter and calmer, and a peace and depth of compassion and perspective will replace what was there before. Thank you for reading 🙂