Our whole self is an ecosystem of many parts that are of varying natures and dimensions, but often, in our deliberations about ourselves and our lives, there’s often a singular character doing or being responsible for those things. That’s a character called ‘me’, ‘myself, ‘I’. This ‘I’ or in Latin, ‘ego’ often monopolises our conscious experience.

This monopolisation sends emotions and thoughts into our psychic basement, or what Jung has termed the Shadow. This leads to inner and outer conflict, and correspondingly, ups and downs in our lives.

On the flip side, we can also subtly pick up on our psychic ecosystem-hood, but then self-deprecatingly say something like ‘my anxiety’ to refer to this ‘other’ that appears to force us into a certain feeling or situation (‘my anxiety makes me do/feel this way’), but this way of looking at it perpetuates our troubles. It takes two to tango and transform. It takes interacting with our parts to integrate, heal, and transform ourselves.

To the extent we do not recognise our psychological ecosystem, we can project discarded parts onto others as idealisations and demonisations. For example, people like Elon Musk, Jordan Peterson, and Andrew Tate are seen accordingly and attract polarising opinions that speak to what we collectively reject and aspire to, depending on each person. The key for any persons life, is to live it! Your being is individual and collective in nature.

In any case, when we don’t treat ourselves ecologically, others have the problem, not us! One may choose to bog themselves down in things like resentment, but they will not be happy, nor whole. How can we make space for and integrate emotions like fear and unworthiness?

Firstly, ecosystems are defined by a principle of connection. So the first task is to become aware of and make space for interacting with all aspects of ourselves, so that they can be re-integrated into us. Otherwise our discarded parts will arise in fitting situations and continue to disturb our peace until this is done.

Rumi has a great poem on this; he uses the metaphor of ourselves as having a (psychological) house with many guests coming and going, including fear and anger. No matter the guest, we can welcome them cheerily and openly, sit down with them, and accept their company.

What can fear teach you? Abandonment? Worthlessness? Perhaps they have a hidden gift. Depending on how you look at it, shit is shit, but it’s also fertilizer.

So how can I put this into practice? Here are some ways:

• Inner child work
• Therapy
• Shadow work
• Parts integration
• Integrative hypnotherapy

There are also more baseline solutions such as meditation, which like a phoenix, dissolve and then re-integrate our parts back together into a wider whole.

Secondly, like a parent, you can choose to tend to your ecosystem with a nurturing attitude. That means more loving self-talk, seeing the good in others, seeing the good in what you don’t believe is good about you, and taking an approach to your life that harmonises body, mind, and spirit. Growing, learning, and transformation, at their best, take a concert of different tools, perspectives and practices to make itself real. 

But the most important aspect of all, being a creator of your life, is to love your creation for what it is. That’s your life and your being. Radical self-love will take a person into outrageously new territory in their life. Self-love leads to other-love, connection, wholeness, flow, appreciation for beauty, and so much more.

To treat yourself ecologically, is to accept yourself from moment to moment. To make peace with the past. To embrace the present for what it is.

These questions may be of help to prompt your journey here:

• Where do I show a lack of love to myself (and others, as reflections of my own lack of self love)
• What am I not accepting about my life right now?
• What and who inspires me, and why?
• What factors from the past are conditioning my view of myself and the parts of myself? Are they still truly relevant?

I hope this can be of help and thank you for reading!

Kyle